Advent Survival Calender cont; Short-cuts, Christmas Food and a giggle!

SHORT-CUTS...

(Advent Survival Calendar December 11th/ 12th/ 13th )

Don't stress about Christmas Cards… people will understand

Get gifts wrapped in store or use gift bags

Buy cakes for cake sale day at school if you don’t have time

Pace yourself, use the time when the kids are at school to get organised, and look after yourself too

Learn to say NO… if your too busy its OK to say NO. December is busy for everyone and you cant be in a million places at once

Cheat.. Use ready prepped veg/ pre baked deserts etc. No one will know the difference

Get family presents like a board game as a gift instead of individual presents for each family member

For teachers gifts don’t worry about getting them all a present. Get some tea/ coffee and some nice staff room treats for the whole staffroom...trust me it will be much appreciated 

Time for a giggle ...

Credit; Connors Chronicles

Food...

Buffets can work well instead of formal sit down meals, they can be more relaxed and be far  less stressful

Allow your child to choose what they want to eat on Christmas Day, it doesn't have to be what everyone else is eating

Consider having  a table just for the kids on Christmas Day

Be prepared everywhere you go, take food you know your child will eat

If you're eating at someone else's house, set a time that you will arrive so they can be prepared. This avoids your child having to wait around to eat which can lead to stress

Some kids don’t like eating at the table with others as it lead to sensory overload, so consider this when arranging seats

Give your child a role they may like to do at the Christmas table, maybe clearing away the crackers, telling the jokes, or putting the wrapping paper in the bin etc.  

December 10th- Family routines and predictable traditions

Familiar routines can be very comforting for children on the Spectrum so why not create some new festive family traditions this year that you can do for years to come.

Some nice ideas include…

A story book  for each night in December that’s wrapped under the tree to read at bedtime each night. Audio CD'S can work well too as many kids like to be able to follow the words of the story independently.

Making paper chains together, this is a really good fine motor activity to help with those pre writing skills.

A movie night on the same night each year, maybe even the same movie.

Making Gingerbread people, following visual instructions and eating them yummy!

A family book that you keep under the tree and write a message in/ draw picture each year.

Create a Christmas Eve box, with treats/ hot chocolate/ stories/ music/ movies that comes out every year to make Christmas Eve magical and predictable.

Take photos of all the decorations and add to it each year. You could look at each December together in preparation for the festivities.

It would be great to hear your suggestions and things you do as a family each year?......

Supporting Children With Autism Access Christmas Lunch At School

In addition to the hustle and bustle of daily life at school, Christmas throws up many confusing challenges for our kids including plays/ parties/ changes to routine and Christmas Dinners. All of which take its toll on sensitive nervous systems, and can lead to an increase in stress and anxiety for children with Autism and additional needs in school. This can also have a direct impact at home as lots of children reflect all their anxiety inwards until they reach home and explode.

There are several things that we can do as teachers to help our children not only access, but enjoy these activities, and today I will focus on the Christmas Lunch that happens in most primary schools up and down the country at this time of year.

Many children on the spectrum have complex issues with food and eating in front of people can be a real trigger for anxiety....but they desperately want to join in and in particular girls often won't want to appear to be different to their friends. Some kids won't be fussed at all and may not even notice the festivities going on around them and that's fine too. We shouldn't project our own views of what they should enjoy onto them, ideally we should follow their lead and accept their differences.
This leads to true inclusion.

No two children are the same and there are so many variables that can affect our children's ability to cope from any given moment throughout the day. This can cause issues; as what a child can cope with one day may be just a step too far the next day, and we cant always work out why. But by really looking at what each child's body language/ gesture/ facial expression and behaviour is telling us, we can attempt to support children to access things at school with less anxiety for them.

So here are a few simple things to look out for and consider if you have a child with Autism in your class and you have to support them access a whole school event like Christmas Lunch....

• Talk to the parents, they know their child best and will be able to make some very valuable suggestions that could make the difference between a child joining in or not.

• Children may want to bring their own cutlery from home.

• Some children may be unable to use a knife and fork and be embarrassed about their friends seeing this. Maybe their food come come pre cut?

• Consider seating, this could be a stressful unknown element for some children. So seating plans/ name cards/ own place-mats etc. are all ideas that reduce the uncertainty.

• Noise will probably an issue. Ear defenders can help some children, and for others the discreet option of placing them at the table near the doorway can help with reducing the level of noise.

• Let the child see the playlist of music that will be in the background.

• Lots of children don't like food touching/certain ways things are cooked etc, again this can be discussed with the parents, and their own food brought in and eaten if that would help them access sitting with their peers.

• Give them a 'get out'. So that with no fuss if things begin to overwhelm them, they have permission to leave without having to ask. A time out card works well for this. 

• Preparation, preparation, preparation is the key... social stories are really useful to talk through what will happen.

• Visual support can help children making food choices as processing language becomes harder for our kids at times of anxiety.

• Consider having themed tables? This would work well for a child that has a special interest and could motivate them to join in if they are at their favourite characters table.

• Making a place mat with visuals of the food they child will eat can help them prepare for the meal, and allow them to make the choices of the foods they do and don't like beforehand so there are no surprises.

• Let them take a fiddle toy/comforter in with them if that helps and explain that to them in a social story.

• Weighted jackets can help children regulate their nervous system and can help children feel calm. There are lost of discreet products available.

• Ensure all the information is written down and a copy sent home, as children can often fret the night before. And if parents don't have the information to hand it can escalate to a full on meltdown that is often anxiety driven.

• If they are going to be wearing paper hats, consider the possibility that this could be uncomfortable for some children. So not wearing one at all could be discussed and accepted if that's what works. Or they could make their own hat beforehand?

• Crackers on the table can have loud bangers In them which could be enough to make a child not want to join in. but be unable to say.

• And finally consider the activities that occur before the Christmas Lunch. Its quite likely the child with Autism will be very anxious about it all morning. They may not have slept well, they may have been unable to eat breakfast, and some kids show their anxiety by refusing to do things and shutting down. So consider keeping things calm leading up to the Christmas Lunch and view all behaviour as the child communicating to you how they feel.

I hope some of the ideas that I have suggested may help, and remember no two kids are ever the same so follow their lead, accept their differences and talk to the parents as they really want to help.
And have a lovely festive season!

Mrs M 

(Mrs M has 20 years working in the Childcare and Education Sector, and spent many years working as a Specialist Autism HLTA in a Resourced Provision, as well as being a mum to three kids one of whom  has a diagnosis of Autism.)

December 9th- School at Christmas

School can be very busy at this time of year so here are some top tips and resources  for reducing anxiety and stress and keep your kids calm in school

Exploring the Christmas Story through sound

Literacy Activities for Christmas

Relaxation techniques for kids in school

Sensory Strategies for School - (Alert programme)

Workstation Visuals

Create a daily timetable of events and try to avoid changes wherever possible. Anxiety will be ramping throughout December so remember to clarify and explain everything.

Keep decorations where the child works to a minimum, and provide distraction free work-zones.

Have a pre - planned set of activities your child can do during all the rehearsals that they can just get on with independently, maybe related to their special interest somehow.

Consider they may not cope with the carols concerts and plays.. Maybe they could do a more behind the scenes job, and that's OK.

Consider allowing them to stay at home if there is something they really wont cope with such as parties . Or create a safe quiet place in the building that is Christmas free for them to escape to. 

Children's language processing ability decreases when things are hectic and busy so back up your language with visual support at all times.

Non uniform days can lead to stress so let children come in wearing their uniform with no fuss.

Make sure all changes to the timetable are discussed and shared with home, preferably written down, as children can fret about things at home and often parents don’t know what to say to help if they don’t have all the info to hand.

Timetable in periods for relaxation, exercise , and sensory breaks throughout the day.

Use social stories to help children access activities they may find a challenge such as Christmas lunch, parties,  rehearsals etc.

Allow them to eat their own food at the school party.

Have a transition debrief time before hometime if possible. Or a period where they an chill before going home. 

Pace the daily activities so children don't get overloaded. It will be taking a huge effort for children on the spectrum to maintain the busy pace of school in December so this needs to be taken into consideration when planning the day. 

Maintain as much normality as possible as the chaos ensues around you …and give yourself a big pat on the back when its all over … well done for surviving it all I say.

December 8th- Decorations/ Tree

Resources/ Links....

Christmas Tree Sequencing Activity

Mr Willowby's Christmas Tree Story pack

6 Step Christmas Tree Sequencing Cards

Choosing a tree Photos

Clear baubles

Ideas....

Allow your child to help you choose the decorations as this may help reduce any anxiety.

Bring the tree down from the loft a few days before its due to go up. It could go up in stages, and then and put the decorations up over a few days if that helps.

If going to chose a real tree use visual support and look at the website before going. Take ear defenders as the chainsaw they use can be loud.

Do some Christmas Tree Sequencing activities at home before you decorate the tree.

Consider that real trees can have a strong smell that your child may not like.

Keep some rooms in the home decoration free especially your child's own room if they want.

Let your child be in the room while you put them up. A child that comes home from school with the house looking all different could find that distressing.

Clear baubles can be bought that you add special interest objects in as decorations 

Some children may find flashing lights too much so lights that are on continuously with no twinkle may work best.

Consider having  a smaller tree that the children can decorate themselves so it doesn't matter what it looks like ;-)

December 6th/ 7th - Presents & Siblings

December 6th -Presents 

Consider teaching kids using social stories how to respond when someone gives them a present.

Receiving Gift Social Story pdf

Many Autistic children don’t like surprises, so it could be best to tell your child what their gifts are, or you could put a catalogue picture/ photo on each present as  a label.

Clear paper is also a possible option.

Large amounts of presents can overwhelm, so consider limiting how many are opened at once and spread it out over  a few  hours/ days.

Sounds obvious but remember the batteries. Maybe wrap them with the presents or better still remove the toy from all the packaging before wrapping them and have the batteries in ready.

Wrap presents so that they are easy to open with not much tape to avoid tactile sensitivity difficulties and reduce frustration.

Consider the paper as some paper is really noisy, possibly  let your child choose his own paper and even wrap the presents together if necessary.

December 7th- Siblings 

Sibling Support Link

As busy as things get its worth trying to make sure you have some time with all your kids, as all the family adjustments can be tricky for siblings to accept. It could just be walking the dog but that 10 minutes out of the house can be really helpful for you and them.

Assign special roles/ jobs to each child as this will help them keep focused and give them structure.

Use social stories to help your Autistic child understand about younger siblings and Santa. It can be hard for some kids to understand why younger children still believe.

Take turns to do family activities with your children instead of not going at all, or worse still forcing your Autistic child to participate. If your child with Autism doesn't like Carol singing but your other kids do, its not wrong for mum to take them and dad to stay at home for example, that’s just the way it has to be, its an adjustment….but it will make everyone a lot happier in the end as its your Christmas too.

Use timetables for all your kids so they don’t feel left out, it can help relieve the stress and anxiety for any child, my daughter with Dyslexia loves to see the plan on a calendar too, it helps her as much as my Autistic son.

Take up offers of help, sometimes if your other kids can go to nanna's for a sleepover it can offer them some much needed respite.

Create some special traditions for siblings only. It could be going for a hot chocolate or making paper-chains. It doesn't need to be much but could help them greatly. If  it means your kiddo goes on his iPad for longer than usual then so be it…it's Christmas.

December 5th- Parties/ School Events

Consider which activities at school are appropriate or not, and if necessary find alternative activities.

Use a daily calendar at school explaining all the changes to the timetable to reduce anxiety.

Allow for some flexibility as things change, provide a busy box for these times

Use ear defenders/visuals where needed for parties to help your child access the activities, and don’t force them to participate if they feel uncomfortable let them set the pace.

Write down what will be expected at parties e.g.- how to play pass the parcel/ timings of activities/ who will be there/ rules of games etc.

Consider keeping things at school as calm as possible. Maybe an area with no decorations would help.

Don’t feel like you have to stay at parties the whole time, its OK to make your excuses and leave if needs be.

Sometimes giving a child a camera can help them if they are taking the photos instead of having to join in, or a kit bag with sensory toys in can also help so you're prepared  for any possibility.

Let them take and eat their own food to reduce the pressure.

Don’t force children to participate in concerts/ productions  if they are becoming distressed, its a huge ask at this time of year just to get through the day . Consider other jobs they could do like the lighting/ brochures/ music/ IT etc. … more behind the scenes but still very much an important part of the process.

December 4th- Visitors and Family

                                                                                                           

Visiting family Social Story example link-

Visiting Family Social Story pdf

Make sure you timetable visits from others to your house and don’t put too much pressure on your child to socialise. A house full can be very overwhelming.

Ask people to call you before popping around so you can prepare your child.

Avoid big family gatherings if they are difficult, and offer a safe quiet space if you do find yourself at a big ‘do. 

Maybe have people visit in smaller groups over the weeks rather than all together on the same day.

If visiting others houses ensure your child knows where they can go to retreat, and take familiar items with them such as own PlayStation, iPad, sensory bag of goodies etc. And arrive early as it will be quieter then and they can settle before others arrive. 

Give your child an idea of how long you plan on being there and try and stick to it.

Let your child join in with what they are comfortable with and opt out when they want with no fuss. 

Buffets can work well when family visit instead of family meals then there is less pressure on everyone involved. It removes the formal stress at the table, and helps with food issues as you can cater for everyone at the buffet.... and people can eat when they want to including your child.

Don’t get stressed if your child doesn't want to socialise or is abrupt with people. Family should understand and not take things personally, and if they don’t get it … well a little Autism Awareness was obviously needed anyway so don’t sweat it.

December 3rd- Sensory Issues

Ensure your child has a quiet place to go to at all times, WHEREVER you are.

Try putting decorations up one at a time each day to avoid sensory overload.

Consider smells, e.g. some children may not like the smell of Christmas trees or candles.

If your child is sensitive to loud noises remove the banger from the crackers.

Pantomimes can be loud. So ensure you get seats near an exit, take ear defenders, and a comforter. Make sure there are two adults so your other kids don’t need to leave if your child struggles.

If your child likes to play with the decorations consider buying a  second cheaper tree that your child can play with and explore.

An afternoon walk can help. Sometimes just getting out of the house for some fresh air can make all the difference and clear your head.

Wrap presents in easy to open coverings with little tape to avoid tactile sensitivity issues.

If your child loves lights let them put them on the ceiling instead of the tree to avoid any tree accidents if they are too tempting to resist.

Bring your child's tent / own chair into the lounge for family movies so they can be in the room but escape if needs be whilst still feeling included.

Some children struggle to wear appropriate clothes when its cold. Visual support and social stories can help with this- http://do2learn.com/picturecards/printcards/selfhelp_clothes.htm (dotolearn.com)  

2nd December - Expectations

Accept that your Christmas will look a bit different to everyone else's.. And that’s OK!

You may only manage short visits to family and friends, they will understand just warn them in advance.

Be prepared for things to become a bit unsettled. School is all different too and this can be tricky for kids to cope with. So accept that December will be wobbly for all of you.... and roll with it.

Don’t worry if your child doesn’t want to join in with all the fuss.

It's OK if your child doesn’t want to open their presents in front of everyone, let them set the pace.

Make sure you plan lots of chill time.

Don’t worry if your child goes back to their old toys and seems ungrateful They are just struggling to take it all in. Introduce toys slowly one by one.

Make life as easy for yourself as possible eg- At the school fair if you don’t have time to bake... don’t worry, you're not alone.. just send in bought cakes and don’t stress.

Send a Facebook message to everyone saying  that you're not doing Christmas cards this year as its such a  massive job to undertake, and make a charity donation instead.

Don’t let other people pressure you or your child to join in.. This is your life...your child… and you need to be in control.

Celebrate the uniqueness of your family and enjoy the moment without worrying about what your missing out on.

Remember no one's Christmas is perfect so relax, go with the flow and be happy to think outside the box.

1st December- 'Routine'

1st December 

The festive period can be very stressful for children on the spectrum. 

There are so many new experiences, sights and sounds. Everyone is busy, school is out of sync due to Carol Concerts and plays etc.

 And home has lots of visitors turning up unannounced, and strange sparkly decorations hanging from each wall….which can lead to kids really struggling and parents being on their knees by January

So here is my survival guide to help you get through December.

 I will share each day on my Facebook page  https://www.facebook.com/sliceofautism/?ref=aymt_homepage_panel

                    Routine…

Creating a personal calendar is a great idea. Marking on it all the daily activities that affect your child.

Highlight all the occasions when you will do the decorations, presents, and when you're out even things that can seem quite mundane etc.

Try and keep most aspects of your child's days as normal as possible to maintain a sense of consistency.

Extend this to go past Christmas too so you're child knows when things will go back to normal.  

Let your child set the pace, rushing them can lead to more pressure for everyone, warn people you may just be late and need to leave early.

Create a regular Christmas day routine that you stick to each year, this is really reassuring for kids on the spectrum.

Go through the daily schedule the night before to iron out any issues and make sure you schedule lots of quiet time for your child.

 Mark things off the calendar when done, some children may like to use a 'washing line‘ with visuals.

Create Social stories for specific events/ activities to help prepare your child.

Keep bedtimes/ bath-times/ waking up times as consistent as possible.

And don't stress too much if things go off plan.  It will happen occasionally.