Summer Holidays Diary Week 5- 'Camhs and the anxiety monster'

( I've lost count of the days so from now on I'm on weeks.....we're currently on Week 5 of summer hols)

So, we were at Camhs yesterday to see someone about my sons increasing anxiety, difficulties around people and general inability to function in the world around him. They asked me what anxiety was preventing him from doing and to be honest it was easier telling them what he could do which is walk the dogs in the woods and visit the field to plane spot)

"Could he go shopping?" .......no
"Can he access Leisure activities?" ....no
"Can he visit the dr?".....no
"Hairdresser?"...no
"Socialise with friends?"....no
"Visit family?"....no
"Eat out?"....no
"Interact with his sisters?".....no
"Access his local community?"...no
"Communicate with others ?"...no

What we didn't talk about too much was what he can do, and he wouldn't get out of the car, then when we did coax him out he hid in the bush at the back of the building!

But in a way though, although these things can often make you come away feeling crappy as its so focused on the negatives .... I think they got to see how anxiety is ruling his every waking minute. Which I needed to make them understand in order to help him, and then hopefully we can get some support in place for us all as a family as its so hard seeing him losing himself to the anxiety monster🙁
Mrs M x

Summer Holidays Diary Day ( 'no blumin idea anymore; CAMHS... more to follow' )

Day ??

Hi folks I've been a little unwell the last few days but today was Camhs, so I dragged my dry shampooed, dosed up on painkillers butt along to the appointment 'cos there was no way I was gonna reschedule that appointment for another day!

Mrs M x

Summer Holidays Diary Day ( lost count now?!?!) ' finding things to do'

Day (lost count now ) 🙈

The days are beginning to blur for me I must admit 😂

We are currently looking after little critters for friends and family on hols so that gives him some focus. Here he is feeding his uncles tortoise ....

Mrs M x

Summer Holidays Diary Day 18- 'Family holidays; our new reality'

Day 18

My hubby is taking ours two teenage daughters away for a few days down to Cornwall with his family, so it's been packing and getting organised for them the last few days! I've also had a stonking hormonal headache which has made me sluggish and tired! Yuck 😨

So today I'm watching my fav Film with my daughter before they head off tomorrow and leave me and my little man for a few days to fend for ourselves!

Separate holidays has become a reality for us this year!
Mixed ...feelings about it all to be honest but I know the girls will have a lovely time with their dad...and it's important that they have some time to chill and enjoy themselves this summer too, so we now do what we need to do regardless of what others may think... That's our reality now! 

Mrs M 💕

Summer holidays Diary Day 16- 'Sleep'

Day 16-

It's 11pm and it's been a pretty full on rainy day here at home, we've had lots of visitors and comings and goings all day but he wouldn't come downstairs while anyone was here.

I've just collapsed into bed with a brew and I'm hoping he sleeps ok tonight!

We're currently waiting to be seen by CAMHS again to assess his melatonin as puberty seems to have affected how well they are now working!

Got another two weeks yet until we get seen though
Mrs M 💤

Summer Holidays Diary Day 13- ' planning ahead'

Day 13

Trying to arrange a coffee and catch up with a friend next week and we both need to check our kids timetables and plan it in accordingly!

Made me chuckle today, nothing spontaneous in our houses over the next few weeks
Mrs M xx

Summer Holidays Diary Day 12- 'at the beach'

Day 12

Hubbies off this week so we drove the remotest beach we could think of and had a wet and windy walk along the seafront today!
Love the beach
Mrs M

Summer Holidays Diary Day 9- 'we all need friends'

Day 9-

This morning it was my youngest daughters school leavers assembly, and my 19 year old niece was due to come and look after my son for an hour or so, so my hubby and I could both go to watch it together which is a rarity indeed.

But unfortunately at the last minute she got called into work

So I tried various family members to see if anyone could help me out at short notice. No one could this time, and my daughter was in tears as she wanted us to both to be there as it was understandably a big deal for her.

So I contacted one of my close friends (who has a busy life herself) cap in hand asking her if she could help me out this morning. I really don't like having to put on people and felt awful having to ask her, but I did beacuse i couldn't let my daughter down.

And with no hesitation at all...she said of course!

It brought a tear to my eye, and my daughter cheered with the news.

It made me realise that everyone needs help from their nearest and dearest sometimes. We can't do this alone, all of the time!

There was me feeling awful for asking her, but she often tells me that she wishes she could help more but never knows how to ....so she was actually glad I asked her and was happy to help out in any way she could.

I'm very lucky to have such amazing friends and family around me that I can turn to in times like this.
Lovely folks who accept the dishes in the sink and the laundry all over the kitchen table without passing judgement, just rolling up their sleeves and queitly doing the dishes for me!

Offering to nip to the shops for me when my cupboards are bare and I can't get out of the house.
Folks who are a little nervous of what to do with my son, but offer to have a go anyway.
Folks who get my situation, don't put pressure on me when I have to cancel at the last minute or sneak off to answer my sons text message on a night out.

Folks that check in with me weekly with texts letting me know that despite the fact that they don't see me often they are thinking of me and want to help however they can.

Those that haven't 'got it' never seem to last that long and drift away in the end .... That's something you learn to accept in time it just makes me more determined keep the ones that have stuck around for the ride so far!

So in the end my daughters assembly was emotional and full of tears as she prepares to move onto the next chapter of her life at high school, but I'm so thankful to my lovely friend that I was able to go to share the moment with her.

These things have a habit of teaching me lessons that I didnt always anticipate.

I need to try not to be so proud and ask for help when I really need it. No man is an island as they say!

And I must try to appreciate the lovely friends and family that I am lucky enough to have in my life, and also the online friends on this page that pass no judgement and share the same experiences making this journey feel less scary to share!

So thanks you each and everyone of you, you know who you are
Mrs M 💕

Summer Holidays Diary Day 6 - 'teenagers!'

Day 6-

He's gone out with dad who's off work today for a few hours (no surprises for guessing where✈️)
so I have used the opportunity to blitz his room, get his sleeping bags washed and drying outside on the line, and change his mattress protector which he spilt milk on last night!

No one warned me how messy my house would become living with three teenagers! It's never ending pots, dirty clothes in the floor, wet towels over every surface upstairs, and wrappers that mysteriously can't seem to find their way to the bin!

Please tell me I'm not the only one living in a teenage hormone battleground

Mrs M xx

Summer Holidays Diary Day 5- 'cinema'

Day 5-

Today we used our Clubcard vouchers to go to the cinema.
The hols can be very expensive so every little helps as they say
It was nice and quiet (by weekend standards) but he still finds it all really hard. When we came out there were a lots of kids in the foyer and we had to make a quick exit throughout the side doors to avert a meltdown.
Mrs M xx

Sumer Holidays Diary 1- let the fun begin'

Hi folks
So for us it's day 1 of the long summer holidays!
And I was thinking that this year I would try and share a snapshot of each day with you all either with a photo or if I'm brave enough a Live video on Facebook (eek).
The summer holidays can be hard for families like ours; lack of structure and routine, filling the days on a budget, meeting the needs of siblings and staying sane in the process!
This is the hardest time of year for me without fail! So I wanted to share the ups and downs of our family summer 'warts and all!'

So Here goes... 

Day 1
Today it's just me and my 'not so little any more man' (really need a new pet name for him now he's not little any more )
The sun is shining, my cupboards are empty and what I really need to do is go food shopping but I ain't even gonna attempt that today! So instead we're at the airport plane spotting as per timetable dictates.
Now when we arrived it was far busier than normal, it's a secret spot that only real plane fanatics know about! And today It took about ten mins to persuade him to come out from behind the bush as there were fellow plane spotters in his patch.... but he did it! The lure of the planes was enough today to make him stand at the back of the field behind everyone else!
So for me it's feet up for an hour, sorting out my page and messages, while he does his thing taking pics of all the planes!
I would love to see what you're up to this summer so please feel free to share your pics and stories in the comments on Facebook and we will get through this summer together 

Mrs M x

Half Term crazy days

It’s wet and dreary day here today, not the kind of day you want to venture out in really  The kids are pretty well settled, and I am catching up on all the EastEnders that I have missed this last week (I should be doing the cleaning really but what’s the point when the kids aren’t back in school ‘til Monday so it will only get messy again!) So instead of hoovering I thought I would make the most of the current peace in the house and give you a quick update and well - just say hi really.

So it’s been half term week here for us and as ever it’s been a pretty eventful one! We’ve had wet days, fun days, and darn right crazy days I can tell you, as I am sure you have too. We had timetabled our week and have pretty much stuck to it as planned. But despite all the organisation things just didn’t always work out to plan.

We had a meal in a pub that ended in me and little man leaving early amongst stares and glances from other diners, then the next day we never even made it in the water park as it was too busy, oh and we had some bowling shoes being lobbed across the alley because he was so anxious about the game (luckily it narrowly missed the ladies head in the aisle next to us!)

But we have also had lots of laughter, ‘knock- knock’ jokes in abundance, coping with losing at bowling was an achievement. And joy listening to him laugh out loud at the Alvin and the Chipmunks film. I love it when he belly laughs - it’s the best sound ever.

And the times it went wrong were entirely our fault really. You see we forgot ourselves a little I think and we thought we could rock up to the water park like every other family in the North West. Ha Ha what the heck were we thinking? We soon realised our mistake and drove away with our tails in-between or legs realising how naïve we have been, and that’s with all our years’ experience behind us! We’re human and we make mistakes.

With all the organisation and forward planning in the world things can still go wrong believe me!

We may not have made it to the museums or water parks like every other ‘normal’ family out there this half term. And we may have cleared the restaurant when we decided to turn up with our crazy family for tea. But so what! Once upon a time that would have really bothered me I have to admit. But not anymore, I can’t let it because it would take me under if I did. Because we are just not like every other family out there. We are a special family and we need to accept that it means we have to do things a little differently.

But we have fun in our own way.

And as much as I would like go to the places everyone else seems to go in the school holidays - we just can’t. They always involve too much queueing, too much stress and let’s be honest most of the time its just too expensive for a family like ours - only to spend most of it stuck in the corner of the room not accessing any of it anyway!

So we admit defeat and think outside the box a bit, or find the quieter times to go to these places. And hopefully more and more places will start to make it easier for families like ours by allowing us access at quieter times – we can but hope eh!

But in the meantime if like us you made a rooky mistake this half term that ended in a meltdown for you or your kids, please don’t beat yourself up about it. Remember we’re all human and so much of what we do as parents is trial and error.

So what if a day out for us is at the local pool not the water park, or a meal in a pub doesn’t go quite to plan, I say well done for even attempting it! 

Please folks...don’t fall prey to the stares of strangers, or pressure to be like everyone else. I've been there and worn the T shirt so many times believe me and its not worth the stress!

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