Autism acceptance

 Acceptance

                                     

For me April is a great way to raise awareness, but to be honest running a page and having a child on the spectrum means that autism doesn't just simply begin and end in April for us.

We live it day in day out.

And awareness is great, don't get me wrong I am all for autism awareness... but what's even more important to me and my son, what will make more of an impact on our lives day to day, is true acceptance.

Acceptance of his needs, acceptance of  his challenges, acceptance of our family and most importantly acceptance of him!

But what does that really mean? Why isn't awareness enough? Well on its own awareness just means that for a few days a year people change their profile pictures and the words 'autism awareness' pop up on Facebook... then its gone.

But we are still here.

Facing the daily battles of living in a world that can see autism as a challenge.

So what then for us?

Yes people may now be more aware of the word autism from awareness month, but do they truly understand anymore about autism? Will it have made an impact on my sons life at all?

To me acceptance means much more than simply raising awareness... It means educating myself on what being autistic feels like by listening to adults on the spectrum. Learning from them and respecting their needs and wishes.

It means taking the time to understand the world through my sons eyes. Looking beyond his behaviour to see what he's is telling me.

It means not trying to change him into something that he's isn't. Embracing his differences and never seeing him as less.

It means accommodating his needs, being flexible and seeing what he can do instead of what he cant.

It means supporting other families who are new to autism and letting them know that its not all as bad as it may seem at first.

It means celebrating achievements and diversity within the autism community.

Acceptance means fighting for an education system that isn't one size fits all. A system that understands autism, and embraces our children's talents.

Its about providing adequate access to services and facilities for children and their families.

It means being there for a new mum who is worried about her child, being a listening ear or simply a word of encouragement.

It means recognising the impact autism has on families and supporting them through the minefield of red tape and politics.

It means more than just acceptance that autism exists.

So that is why  throughout April I will be doing my bit to raise awareness like everyone else, but I will also be challenging you to do more than simply change your profile picture. I will be asking you to think in ways you may not have before, and asking you to see things from a new perspective.

I will be sharing the voices of adults on the spectrum, and encouraging you to really begin to understand what living with autism really means by sharing my A-Z of autism acceptance.

Autism acceptance month A-Z (April 2016)

You may see a label, where I see my son!

What do you see - A cobweb, or a beautiful moment to be captured?

You look may look at my son and see a child with autism. Or you may look at my son and think he doesn’t look autistic at all.

But when I look at him all I see is his bright toothy smile, his infectious giggle and the long locks of brown hair that he hides behind when he talks to people, I see my son!

(Who also happens to be autistic).

One of the wonders of humanity is that two people can look at something and see very different things, it’s all a matter of perspective.

You could see a hurdle where I see a challenge

You may see sadness where I can feel joy

You may see symptoms where I see strength over adversity

You may see weakness where I see bravery

You may see a puzzle where I see wonder

You may see a label where I see my son

             If all you see is the label when you look at him, then you are missing out on so much!

But this is the complex world that my son has to navigate his way around. And as his mother, I had to learn how to support him to make sense of it all.

How could I do that when we live in a world in which people’s opinions differ so vastly, and their past experiences shape how they interact with him?  How could I understand how he feels and help him make sense of this crazy world, and help others see who he really is?

Simple… I had to change the way I viewed my sons’ world. The ups and downs, the highs and lows, and the challenges he faces daily. Not to mention the inner strength and talents he has within.  I had to change my perspective, and step into his shoes to see the world as he sees it…

"You see people can just think that I just choose not to leave the house, and I am a recluse. But imagine a world in which complex interactions, and going beyond the safety of my house floods me with all-consuming anxiety that can make me feel physically sick. Now can you understand why stepping outside is so daunting for me sometimes mum?"

"People can think I don’t understand what they are saying, so they talk over me or ignore me completely. However try to imagine how it feels to struggle following the ebb and flow of conversations. Not knowing how and when you are meant to respond, and what people’s facial expressions actually mean. It’s no wonder that I avoid conversations with people who don’t know me very well."

"People think I have no sense of humour or can’t take a joke. But instead try to imagine living in a world where people say things they don’t really mean and make jokes about things that just don’t make sense to me. It’s not that I don’t have a sense of humour, I am really funny and make people laugh every day. In fact my mum says I have a giggle that is infectious (although I don’t know how because laughs can’t be infectious can they?")

"People think I want to control things. For a second just picture how it feels not be able to predict what is going to happen next, and how out of control this would make you feel. And maybe then you will realise why I feel the need for control or routine."

"I struggle to see the bigger picture of what’s happening around me and seem like I am in my own world, and people thing I am ignoring them. Just remember that my world is rich and full of intense experiences. I see and feel things so vividly that sometimes it can be hard for me to switch my focus to anything else."

"Sometimes people think I am rude or that I don’t care about other people’s feelings. Try and keep in your mind that to me people’s rules are unwritten, confusing and mysterious. Imagine not being able to understand how other people feel, what they could be thinking or even that they are giving me clues about their emotions by their body language. It’s not that I don’t care, I just don’t experience emotions like you do."

                                                   Just imagine.....

How would you feel if you had a really creative mind full of amazing ideas but no one recognised your potential just because you didn’t have the words?

How would you feel if you had so much love to give, but people didn’t know because they didn’t enter your world to feel it for themselves?

How would you feel if you could see the beauty in the things other people ignored and people dismissed the things you were passionate about?

How would you feel if people wanted to change you, and said that the things you like to do weren’t socially acceptable?

How would you feel living in a world that doesn’t recognise the potential that lies within you because of your label?

                                        
Imagine… just for a minute put yourself in his shoes!

How frustrating it must it all be at times for him?

If people don’t learn to see things from a different perspective; my son’s perspective, then they will never see the wonderful talents that lie within him. They will never see beyond the challenges he faces and the labels he carries, to view what he has to offer the world.

And this is why I do what I do. This is why I fight so hard to raise awareness, understanding and acceptance. No matter what day or month it is. Because autism is part of who he is, but not all that he is.

I want to open the window on perspective and blow away the cobwebs of ignorance. So that my son can hopefully live in a world that is far less confusing, much more aware, and has a greater level of acceptance than ever before.

It’s all just a matter of perspective.