December 17th- Taking care of yourself this Christmas is important folks

TAKE care OF YOURSELF....

Please remember we don’t need to be superhuman, we will laugh and cry, have ups and downs, good days and days we are relieved just to see the back of. Don't beat yourself up when things feel too much.

Give yourself a break every now and again to meet a friend for coffee when the hubby's home, walk the dogs, nip to the supermarket, or catch up on the soaps (if you can.)

Take peoples offers of help if you're lucky enough to get them, family often want to help, and can often feel helpless not knowing what to do. It could be taking siblings out for a bit, doing some washing for you or walking your dogs. I know I can sometimes feel quite trapped over the holidays so take any offer up... I know I will be if any come my way.

ONLINE SHOP, enough said.

If you can't get a sitter (let's face it it's pretty unlikely) have movie night with the other half over the holidays, maybe a £10 meal deal with a bottle of wine. I know for us it often comes way down the list of priorities, but I need to remind myself how important it really is to do every now and again.

Let people know if you need to talk. Bottling things up won’t help. Make the most of your friends and family and tell them if you need a hand, it's not failing honest, it's called being human (and I have certainly been there and worn the T-shirt many times before so you're far from alone honest.)

Use your online support network. We understand how it feels and are probably feeling the same as you. Sometimes all we need is a quick chat to someone who gets it and then we can get on with our day.

Acceptance can go a long way in helping us get through the holidays. Be happy that your life is chaotic and always eventful, and trying to see the funny side of things really can help. This is half the battle of feeling happy, as looking at others and wishing our lives looked like that does us no good at all (usually their life is never as perfect as it seems anyway.)

If you feel like you're having more bad days than good and the fog isn't lifting it could be worth seeing a doctor. Our mental health should not be taboo, I myself am on antidepressants and I am not ashamed in the slightest to tell anyone that will listen! Because I am important too. In order to be there for my kids I need to look after myself. I learnt that the hard way. So please don't suffer in silence and feel ashamed. Be proud of what you do on a  daily basis and look at it as something you just need to do to fill up the tank when its running low.

Remember no ones life is perfect folks we all have our own challenges to deal with. So smile and remember you're doing a great job! 

Our kids are amazingly unique and yes life is challenging, especially at Christmas. But make the most of everyday... whatever comes your way!
And hold your head up high in pride as our children continue to teach us a new way to view our world and show us how to love unconditionally, as only children can.

December 14th- Useful Links to Visual Support and Social Stories

 Visiting Santa.pdf

 Getting Presents.pdf

  Christmas Holiday print Activities

      Christmas Social Story

      Visiting Family at Christmas

http://www.autismsocialstories.com/christmas/

Advent Survival Calender cont; Short-cuts, Christmas Food and a giggle!

SHORT-CUTS...

(Advent Survival Calendar December 11th/ 12th/ 13th )

Don't stress about Christmas Cards… people will understand

Get gifts wrapped in store or use gift bags

Buy cakes for cake sale day at school if you don’t have time

Pace yourself, use the time when the kids are at school to get organised, and look after yourself too

Learn to say NO… if your too busy its OK to say NO. December is busy for everyone and you cant be in a million places at once

Cheat.. Use ready prepped veg/ pre baked deserts etc. No one will know the difference

Get family presents like a board game as a gift instead of individual presents for each family member

For teachers gifts don’t worry about getting them all a present. Get some tea/ coffee and some nice staff room treats for the whole staffroom...trust me it will be much appreciated 

Time for a giggle ...

Credit; Connors Chronicles

Food...

Buffets can work well instead of formal sit down meals, they can be more relaxed and be far  less stressful

Allow your child to choose what they want to eat on Christmas Day, it doesn't have to be what everyone else is eating

Consider having  a table just for the kids on Christmas Day

Be prepared everywhere you go, take food you know your child will eat

If you're eating at someone else's house, set a time that you will arrive so they can be prepared. This avoids your child having to wait around to eat which can lead to stress

Some kids don’t like eating at the table with others as it lead to sensory overload, so consider this when arranging seats

Give your child a role they may like to do at the Christmas table, maybe clearing away the crackers, telling the jokes, or putting the wrapping paper in the bin etc.  

December 10th- Family routines and predictable traditions

Familiar routines can be very comforting for children on the Spectrum so why not create some new festive family traditions this year that you can do for years to come.

Some nice ideas include…

A story book  for each night in December that’s wrapped under the tree to read at bedtime each night. Audio CD'S can work well too as many kids like to be able to follow the words of the story independently.

Making paper chains together, this is a really good fine motor activity to help with those pre writing skills.

A movie night on the same night each year, maybe even the same movie.

Making Gingerbread people, following visual instructions and eating them yummy!

A family book that you keep under the tree and write a message in/ draw picture each year.

Create a Christmas Eve box, with treats/ hot chocolate/ stories/ music/ movies that comes out every year to make Christmas Eve magical and predictable.

Take photos of all the decorations and add to it each year. You could look at each December together in preparation for the festivities.

It would be great to hear your suggestions and things you do as a family each year?......

December 9th- School at Christmas

School can be very busy at this time of year so here are some top tips and resources  for reducing anxiety and stress and keep your kids calm in school

Exploring the Christmas Story through sound

Literacy Activities for Christmas

Relaxation techniques for kids in school

Sensory Strategies for School - (Alert programme)

Workstation Visuals

Create a daily timetable of events and try to avoid changes wherever possible. Anxiety will be ramping throughout December so remember to clarify and explain everything.

Keep decorations where the child works to a minimum, and provide distraction free work-zones.

Have a pre - planned set of activities your child can do during all the rehearsals that they can just get on with independently, maybe related to their special interest somehow.

Consider they may not cope with the carols concerts and plays.. Maybe they could do a more behind the scenes job, and that's OK.

Consider allowing them to stay at home if there is something they really wont cope with such as parties . Or create a safe quiet place in the building that is Christmas free for them to escape to. 

Children's language processing ability decreases when things are hectic and busy so back up your language with visual support at all times.

Non uniform days can lead to stress so let children come in wearing their uniform with no fuss.

Make sure all changes to the timetable are discussed and shared with home, preferably written down, as children can fret about things at home and often parents don’t know what to say to help if they don’t have all the info to hand.

Timetable in periods for relaxation, exercise , and sensory breaks throughout the day.

Use social stories to help children access activities they may find a challenge such as Christmas lunch, parties,  rehearsals etc.

Allow them to eat their own food at the school party.

Have a transition debrief time before hometime if possible. Or a period where they an chill before going home. 

Pace the daily activities so children don't get overloaded. It will be taking a huge effort for children on the spectrum to maintain the busy pace of school in December so this needs to be taken into consideration when planning the day. 

Maintain as much normality as possible as the chaos ensues around you …and give yourself a big pat on the back when its all over … well done for surviving it all I say.

December 8th- Decorations/ Tree

Resources/ Links....

Christmas Tree Sequencing Activity

Mr Willowby's Christmas Tree Story pack

6 Step Christmas Tree Sequencing Cards

Choosing a tree Photos

Clear baubles

Ideas....

Allow your child to help you choose the decorations as this may help reduce any anxiety.

Bring the tree down from the loft a few days before its due to go up. It could go up in stages, and then and put the decorations up over a few days if that helps.

If going to chose a real tree use visual support and look at the website before going. Take ear defenders as the chainsaw they use can be loud.

Do some Christmas Tree Sequencing activities at home before you decorate the tree.

Consider that real trees can have a strong smell that your child may not like.

Keep some rooms in the home decoration free especially your child's own room if they want.

Let your child be in the room while you put them up. A child that comes home from school with the house looking all different could find that distressing.

Clear baubles can be bought that you add special interest objects in as decorations 

Some children may find flashing lights too much so lights that are on continuously with no twinkle may work best.

Consider having  a smaller tree that the children can decorate themselves so it doesn't matter what it looks like ;-)

December 6th/ 7th - Presents & Siblings

December 6th -Presents 

Consider teaching kids using social stories how to respond when someone gives them a present.

Receiving Gift Social Story pdf

Many Autistic children don’t like surprises, so it could be best to tell your child what their gifts are, or you could put a catalogue picture/ photo on each present as  a label.

Clear paper is also a possible option.

Large amounts of presents can overwhelm, so consider limiting how many are opened at once and spread it out over  a few  hours/ days.

Sounds obvious but remember the batteries. Maybe wrap them with the presents or better still remove the toy from all the packaging before wrapping them and have the batteries in ready.

Wrap presents so that they are easy to open with not much tape to avoid tactile sensitivity difficulties and reduce frustration.

Consider the paper as some paper is really noisy, possibly  let your child choose his own paper and even wrap the presents together if necessary.

December 7th- Siblings 

Sibling Support Link

As busy as things get its worth trying to make sure you have some time with all your kids, as all the family adjustments can be tricky for siblings to accept. It could just be walking the dog but that 10 minutes out of the house can be really helpful for you and them.

Assign special roles/ jobs to each child as this will help them keep focused and give them structure.

Use social stories to help your Autistic child understand about younger siblings and Santa. It can be hard for some kids to understand why younger children still believe.

Take turns to do family activities with your children instead of not going at all, or worse still forcing your Autistic child to participate. If your child with Autism doesn't like Carol singing but your other kids do, its not wrong for mum to take them and dad to stay at home for example, that’s just the way it has to be, its an adjustment….but it will make everyone a lot happier in the end as its your Christmas too.

Use timetables for all your kids so they don’t feel left out, it can help relieve the stress and anxiety for any child, my daughter with Dyslexia loves to see the plan on a calendar too, it helps her as much as my Autistic son.

Take up offers of help, sometimes if your other kids can go to nanna's for a sleepover it can offer them some much needed respite.

Create some special traditions for siblings only. It could be going for a hot chocolate or making paper-chains. It doesn't need to be much but could help them greatly. If  it means your kiddo goes on his iPad for longer than usual then so be it…it's Christmas.

December 5th- Parties/ School Events

Consider which activities at school are appropriate or not, and if necessary find alternative activities.

Use a daily calendar at school explaining all the changes to the timetable to reduce anxiety.

Allow for some flexibility as things change, provide a busy box for these times

Use ear defenders/visuals where needed for parties to help your child access the activities, and don’t force them to participate if they feel uncomfortable let them set the pace.

Write down what will be expected at parties e.g.- how to play pass the parcel/ timings of activities/ who will be there/ rules of games etc.

Consider keeping things at school as calm as possible. Maybe an area with no decorations would help.

Don’t feel like you have to stay at parties the whole time, its OK to make your excuses and leave if needs be.

Sometimes giving a child a camera can help them if they are taking the photos instead of having to join in, or a kit bag with sensory toys in can also help so you're prepared  for any possibility.

Let them take and eat their own food to reduce the pressure.

Don’t force children to participate in concerts/ productions  if they are becoming distressed, its a huge ask at this time of year just to get through the day . Consider other jobs they could do like the lighting/ brochures/ music/ IT etc. … more behind the scenes but still very much an important part of the process.

December 4th- Visitors and Family

                                                                                                           

Visiting family Social Story example link-

Visiting Family Social Story pdf

Make sure you timetable visits from others to your house and don’t put too much pressure on your child to socialise. A house full can be very overwhelming.

Ask people to call you before popping around so you can prepare your child.

Avoid big family gatherings if they are difficult, and offer a safe quiet space if you do find yourself at a big ‘do. 

Maybe have people visit in smaller groups over the weeks rather than all together on the same day.

If visiting others houses ensure your child knows where they can go to retreat, and take familiar items with them such as own PlayStation, iPad, sensory bag of goodies etc. And arrive early as it will be quieter then and they can settle before others arrive. 

Give your child an idea of how long you plan on being there and try and stick to it.

Let your child join in with what they are comfortable with and opt out when they want with no fuss. 

Buffets can work well when family visit instead of family meals then there is less pressure on everyone involved. It removes the formal stress at the table, and helps with food issues as you can cater for everyone at the buffet.... and people can eat when they want to including your child.

Don’t get stressed if your child doesn't want to socialise or is abrupt with people. Family should understand and not take things personally, and if they don’t get it … well a little Autism Awareness was obviously needed anyway so don’t sweat it.

December 3rd- Sensory Issues

Ensure your child has a quiet place to go to at all times, WHEREVER you are.

Try putting decorations up one at a time each day to avoid sensory overload.

Consider smells, e.g. some children may not like the smell of Christmas trees or candles.

If your child is sensitive to loud noises remove the banger from the crackers.

Pantomimes can be loud. So ensure you get seats near an exit, take ear defenders, and a comforter. Make sure there are two adults so your other kids don’t need to leave if your child struggles.

If your child likes to play with the decorations consider buying a  second cheaper tree that your child can play with and explore.

An afternoon walk can help. Sometimes just getting out of the house for some fresh air can make all the difference and clear your head.

Wrap presents in easy to open coverings with little tape to avoid tactile sensitivity issues.

If your child loves lights let them put them on the ceiling instead of the tree to avoid any tree accidents if they are too tempting to resist.

Bring your child's tent / own chair into the lounge for family movies so they can be in the room but escape if needs be whilst still feeling included.

Some children struggle to wear appropriate clothes when its cold. Visual support and social stories can help with this- http://do2learn.com/picturecards/printcards/selfhelp_clothes.htm (dotolearn.com)