I have recently dipped my toe into the social media world of
Autism these last few months and I have been really surprised by the complex
and political world out there, that naively I knew nothing about.
In simple terms I am just a mum. A mum to three kids, one of whom is Autistic. And a mum who felt alone for many years. As
a result I turned to other mums online for help and advice. I suppose more than
that I needed friendship and understanding from others who completely got me
and my life. Not even necessarily to share stories about our kids but to just
be there for each other in a non judgemental way.
So after many years of considering it, I started a blog
about my life. And of course because my life is so intertwined with my sons the
stories overlap. I have always tried to be honest and share my feelings because
I know that the worst thing in the world is to feel alone. My son had been in the forefront of my mind
the whole time I have ever written anything.
My kids are my world. My son inspires me daily, and he has
taught so much in ways I could never have imagined. He is unique and wonderful and I love sharing
his achievements with people on my blog. But there is also a flip side to this.
Sometimes for us life is a challenge. There is no way to escape that reality; fighting
the system, other people’s perception of my son, people’s general ignorance and
having ‘normal’ family life in general to name but a few.
So I write about us, the challenges we face, and our wonderful
and crazy family moments. But I have always been conscious of not disclosing my
sons’ private details, and have tried to respect his right to not have every
element of his life out there in the abyss of social media for all to see. For
me it’s more about increasing peoples understanding of Autism, and connecting
with other people who want to learn more, and people who really relate to our
story on a personal level.
I honestly had no
idea that the Autism world out there was so divided; groups of parents, groups
of professionals, bloggers, haters....
And most importantly Autistic people
writing about their first hand experiences who deserve to have their voices heard the loudest out of all sections of the community .
But sadly I have seen several blogs and
articles in the last few weeks that have challenged me greatly. From people offering cures for Autism, abusive
therapies that damage children’s perception of who they really are, to blogs
that make you feel worse for reading them.
And I have increasingly sensed that Autistic people can feel their voice is being overlooked by well intentioned people talking about their second hand experience of Autism . So
as a parent blogger played has played on my mind a lot.
I completely agree that every child deserves their privacy,
and no one should be sharing their childs every detail in public for all to see.
Because once it’s out there it’s out there forever. But keeping this in mind I also feel I have a right to tell my story and express my feelings. After all we all need to support eachother whatever our personal relationship with Autism looks like. I reckon we should all be
on the same side. Fighting
for more understanding, and celebrating the uniqueness of Autistic people like
my son.
Unfortunately there will always be people that abuse their
situation, as there is in every section of our society. There will be honest,
insightful and helpful blogs and articles, and sadly there will also be pretty
crappy ones that focus too much on the negative, and do nothing to raise
genuine awareness and help people through the maze of support out there.
Whether we are Autistic, parent bloggers, ‘experts’ or
observers, I think it’s something we should all be mindful of. We need to be
honest, celebrate the good, and recognise the challenges out there for Autistic
people and their families.
So I will continue to
tell my story, and follow a variety of people from all sections of the Autism
community who share my ethos of celebrating my sons’ uniqueness and
potential. And I will continue to
attempt to raise awareness, and reach out to people who may feel alone. I will
make mistakes, but I am human and that’s all part of this journey we are all
on.
I choose to ignore
the negativity out there. The unhelpful side of social media that makes me feel
worse about our situation; the disrespectful, unhelpful, and darn right
dangerous stuff out there. I choose not to encourage that voice by giving it my
attention.
My blog celebrates my son. My blog allows me to discuss the difficulties
we face in a world that struggles to recognise and embrace my sons abilities. And
my blog helps me know I am not alone in feeling like I do, and helps me be a
better mum to my son. That’s why I blog.
And if telling it like it is helps someone else in the
process.... well then that’s an added
bonus
Mrs M x
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