Just...
Such an insignificant little word. One that we never really
think about because we just take it for granted. It’s just
there in our word bank to pull out whenever we just happen to feel like
it. But we don’t even realise we need it so much.
I am just a mum. A busy mum to three
wonderful kids. I am just a housewife and a full time carer to my 11 year old son
who has Autism. I am just trying my best
to get through each day.
But I just reckon it’s such an undervalued
word that really doesn’t know its worth. I know this to be true as it’s a word
I use all day as I go about my jobs, without even giving it a second thought.
“I’ll just pop the kettle on” I shout
upstairs as I am trying to rouse the sleepy heads from their beds every
morning. “I’ve just got time to pile a quick wash load in before I do the
school run” I think to myself whilst shoving the mountain of the laundry
fiercely into our battered old machine “I had just about enough sleep
last night to get me through the day” I tell myself as I am scraping my hair into
ponytail whilst dashing out of the door clutching the car keys, school bags and
trumpet just about still under my arms.
“We should just make it on time if we hit no traffic” I tell
my daughter as she scoffs her cereal bar in her mouth whilst fiddling with the
radio stations to find her favourite song on the way to school. And then my day
really begins as I just have to dash to the shops, hoover the house, walk the
dogs, order the meds, clean the bathroom, make the beds, email school, phone’s
Camhs and write a social story for swimming after school. And I then I might just
about have time to eat, gulp some cold coffee whilst opening the mail, if I’m
lucky.
Before I then wash the pots, polish the table, empty the
bins, fill out the DLA forms, iron the shirts and all this whilst trying to
catch my sons therapist in her office at some point on the phone today- I’ll just have
to keep trying on redial ‘til I catch her.
Then its just about time to head off to do the
school pick up and hope there’s no delay so I can get back for my son arriving
home in his taxi, who will be ready to just run through the door and have
his snack there waiting for him as he does everyday.
And so this just continues day after day after
day after day. I just plod on.
You see really I am just like the word just.
I am always there. Always holding things together. I just get on with things
despite how tired I am or how much I have to do.
But I am not ashamed to say I am more than just a mum. A Mum who’s always there to love
and nurture, yes that’s a huge part of what makes me – well me. But I am so
much more.
I am Michelle. I am not
just a tired thirty something
mum with grey hair wearing comfy knickers. I am funny and loyal, and by the way
I make a mean chicken curry! I have
depression and yet maintain a deep faith in life and love. I hold my friends
and family so dearly that I would do anything to protect them from harm. I enjoy
baking and reading and history- and so much more! (I secretly wish I lived in
the 40’s and drank from a china tea cup, whilst wearing floral kitten heels and
a spotty head scarf too if truth be told.)
However I think I may have fallen into the trap of having so
many just moments throughout the day that I take
myself for granted now too. I need to reclaim my fabulous justness back!
So as we face this New Year I will try to have just
one selfish moment all to myself each day- just for me and no one else!
I will just have
half an hour reading a magazine. Or I will just
try and drink my coffee hot today. Or “I am just going upstairs for a bubble bath children, the TV is on in the
lounge.” Or even better still- we need a few hours together could you just sit for a bit for us darling sister
of mine?
This New Year is the time to just say enough is enough, I am more than just a mum, I am more than just
a middle aged woman wearing slippers and drinking tea from a chipped Whispa mug
from Easter 2002. And in order to be all
those things for everyone else I first need to just to look after me every now and again, even if it’s just for
10 minutes every day. It doesn’t mean I love my kids any less, it just means I love me too.
So let’s stop neglecting that insignificant little word and just care
for it- let’s care for ourselves and realise that we are so much more than just our jobs, whatever that may be. I am gonna start by pulling out my nan's old fine bone china tea
set, putting on a bit of lippy and some killer heels ( well I can sit in them at least ) and just for 10 minutes each morning watch
a bit of Philip Schofield on the tele sipping my tea in style!
Now who’s with me- one lump or two?
Mrs M x
https://www.familyfund.org.uk/blog/just-another-new-years-blog
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