Wednesday 18 November 2015

The Meltdown

The Meltdown

My boy
My beautiful boy
The days been hard
The world is too much sometimes

I can see the fog creeping over your body
Don’t let it take you
Stay here with me, let me make it better

But deep down I know this has to happen
It has to come out somehow
You're saturated

I’m your mum and I am here to help you through it
But my instincts are all wrong
Because every nerve in my body is telling me to scoop you up
My beautiful boy I need to make it better

I am helpless

My heart breaks to see you like this
I’m losing you to the fog, to the meltdown
It’s engulfing you, swallowing you like a predator

You’re gasping for air
Panic and rage soon follows
Breathe, remember to breathe my boy

I don’t know what to, what should I do?
I feel like I make things worse
My touch is painful to you, you pull away

What’s wrong, what can I do?
You can’t hear me
Heartbeats faster

I see my panic reflected in your eyes
My boy is so frightened
You lash out, I take the hit
Doors slam, chairs fly, I need to keep us safe until this passes
Seconds feel like hours

Slowly the fog subsides
and you become quiet
You rock slowly to calm yourself
Then slide down the wall in a heap
Your body unwinds and sighs

I hold my breath, and wait wrapping my arms around myself for comfort
Feelings of calm creep back in
My knees give way, I crawl towards you
Reaching out I gently touch your hand
You close your eyes

My love overflows
It’s OK my angel, you’re OK now
I love you
We're going to be OK

Mum xx


  1. I love your post, made me realise how my mum must have felt withe and my brother.

    1. Hi Kim, thank you so much. and I am glad you could relate to it