Monday 26 October 2015

Confessions of an Autism mum

Most of you reading this already know quite a lot about me by now as I have a tendency to get it all out there for the world to see!
So I thought it was about time I was completely honest with you, and shared my.....
 'Confessions of being an Autism mum' 

How many of these can you relate to?

  •  I hide in the toilet for 5 minutes peace, I can usually manage a few minutes before I get busted as they've all got wise to me now, so think I'm gonna have to find a  new spot (maybe the hubby's man shed?)
  • Sometimes I lay in bed at night and I suddenly remember  that I've left the blumin washing outside on the line... hmm what to do... get out of bed to bring it in.... nah it can wait 'til morning

  • On particularly challenging days my old faithful friend the bottle of dry shampoo comes out. I just dont have time to wash my hair so a quick spray and I'm good to go for another few hours, and on really busy days it's a woolly hat all the way for my head! 
  • Sometimes when I can't face the world, I am exhausted, or just cant process anything else, I make excuses to get out of things. Being a mum to an Autistic child means I'm on high alert ALL of the time sometimes my battery feels a bit  ...well....flat.. I haven't even got the energy to explain all that to you half the time just, so I say I have a headache 'cos its easier. (please forgive me dear friends)
  • Cold coffee is my constant companion, several cups are consumed to keep energy levels up..  I would probably go into panic mode if I actually sipped a hot cup as I have forgotten what hot coffee tastes like nowadays 
  • When I have forgotten to wash the uniform a good old wet wipe rub down will do ! 
  • I have eaten a whole tube of pringles for my tea collapsed on the sofa infront of the soaps
  • I very rarely answer my home phone as I just cant chat. I am usually too busy making three dinner choices, chasing the puppy who has stolen my slipper or acting as referee to three kids intent on starting WW3. (If its someone important they know to text me I say)
  • Shower time is an event I have to psych myself up for (not my own obviously .. I mean that would be silly....for my son of course !!). So its towels on the floor at the ready as Noah himself would suggest we build an Ark. We have floods of epic proportions at shower time...oh and we mustn't forget the streaking giggling nakedness we have in abundance too, as he runs around the house shouting "dont look at my personal parts."
  • Doing the weekly shop for me is a break... I savour the solitude and keep my head down in case I bump into someone I know over the frozen peas. But then my silence is halted as my phone beeps and I know my times up .....
  • Sometimes if I sit down... well...... I fall asleep when watching catch up TV in the afternoon (but dont tell my husband as I prod him all the time for nodding off during Downton)
  • I often embarrass my son by walking him out to his taxi for school in my 'Elf' pyjamas if it's been a manic morning! (Then I run in quick hoping the neighbours didn't spot me and my son cringes as he waves goodbye) 
  • We may have messed about with the clocks once upon a time....well anything for an extra hour  in bed!!
  • SHHH. .don't tell anyone but those cakes I sent in for cake sale day at school were shop bought ..( I think I got away with it by putting it in a cake tin ) 
  • Such a sad time for the family was when our pet rabbit died while we were away on holiday, so nanna was instructed to but a replica rabbit and switch it MI5 stylie before we arrived home. Of course he spotted it straight away ! 
  • I love my slippers. Given the choice I would wear them on a night out. Pah.. whats a night out anyway?! Heels are out, slippers are in that's my motto. Oh and they must have good grippy soles 'cos you never know when your gonna need to jump up off the sofa to rescue a child stuck in a sleeping bag. Or intercept a cushion that's heading towards the cold coffee on the table... and trust me skidding across the floor at my age isn't a pretty sight to behold let me tell you! (I have even been known to collect my daughter from school in my slippers when in a rush ....I waited in the car for her of course)
  • And finally and hardest to admit I  am secretly envious of other mums Facebook pages. Ahhh I know I shouldn't be and often its just a fleeting thought.. ...but sometimes I look at pictures of lovely perfect days out and all the blumin smiling happy faces and deep down secretly wish that was us.

But then my son brings me back to the room, and makes me smile by simply being him and sliding accross the floor like a slug in his sleeping bag chasing the dog....and I feel guilty for feeling like that.

 Because I love him to the moon and back. My confessions don't make a bad mum , I'm just human you see and nobody's perfect ...especially me ! 

                                                                                Mrs M x 

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