So it’s that time of year again folks when we all start
thinking about holidays. Fun, sunshine and family time. Sound idyllic doesn’t it?
But holidaying with a child with autism can often be prove to be more stressful
than relaxing. What with visiting lots of new places, having to sleep in a
different room, our expectations that we must all be having fun fun fun, and
siblings not getting on can all lead to a family that actually needs a break
after the holiday is over! Kind of defeats the object really doesn’t it?
Believe me when I say that I have been there and worn the T
shirt inside out so I get it. I think as mums we see our friends Facebook
pictures of happy smiling kids around the pool, selfies with a cocktail and
trips to fun destinations… and we think to ourselves… yeah I want that too!
That will be us this year. ‘Happy families are us’.
But like with most things in life, it never go to plan. It
either ends up raining every day, the kids can’t seem to be in the same room as
each other without arguing, or I’m too tired and exhausted to relax. So by day
5 usually I can just about muster the will to put the kettle on to make a brew,
never mind have a cocktail by the pool!
We have had some stonkers over the years let me tell you. I
had a meltdown in a carpark in Wales one year. My son ran out of his tent half
naked at 3 in the morning a few years ago as he was sleep walking (he narrowly
avoided the guy ropes of our fellow campers, however unfortunately I was far
less graceful!). Oh and our tent nearly blew off a cliff with us in it one year,
we have flooded many caravan showers over the years, and another time we came
home early from Devon as my son wasn’t sleeping…at all… for almost 5 days.
But I think the icing on the cake for me has to be when we
went away in a large family cottage with my poor unsuspecting family and ...
well let me put it this way we said it would never happen again ha ha!
So believe me when I say I am a seasoned pro at all things
holiday. The good the bad and the darn right ugly! So whether you’re braving a
tent in Yorkshire, a cottage in Devon or a week in the sun -here are my top ten
survival tips from a fellow parent who’s worn the t shirt and is still here to
tell the tale…
1.
When we have attempted to go abroad in the past,
we got a note from the doctor outlining our sons’ conditions and an explanation
of why we needed to carry a vibrating cushion on the plane! You can imagine the
looks we got can’t you? Being stopped at baggage check as they pulled this
funny looking vibrating cushion apart; batteries, wires and all. But the cover
letter was vital and they accepted it with no fuss… just a few giggles!
2.
Most airports do fast track facilities for
children with autism. If you contact the airport all it usually involves is
filling in a form and your child can be issued with a wristband that allows
your group to jump the queues. This helps my son immensely as queuing and waiting
around is the big challenge for us at the airport.
3.
We also carry a ‘kit bag’ wherever we go. For us
it includes his IPAD, earphones, fiddle toys, gum, snacks, tick list or
visuals, spare earphones and sometimes a weighted jacket. Of course each child
is different so each kit bag will be unique.
4.
Once we are there my son like many other
children doesn’t like wearing sun cream. So we buy UV tops that cover his arms,
shoulders and back etc. A spray lotion or roll on can work well too for some
children as they are often less thick and sticky. As can letting them apply it
themselves for those who don’t like being touched. It may also be worth
timetabling in how often it needs to re-reapplied as kids can assume once it’s
on it doesn’t need to be put on again.
5.
Getting my son to drink in the heat can be
tricky, but the minute I freeze it and turn it into a slush he loves it. So I
can usually get fluid into him that way when it’s really hot.
6.
When holidaying in the UK we tend to travel
within a 2 hour radius of our house. We literally put a compass in a map and
circle our ‘catchment area’. As being in
the car for too long is never easy for children with autism. So we plan our
stops at each service station, do a social story telling him the key points of
the journey and take lots of chargers/ tech and his favourite snacks to keep
him occupied in the car.
7.
We also take his own covers and pillows etc.
that we put on his bed once at our destination. Having his own covers can help
him settle. But we always know that nights are going to be tricky as sleeping
in a new room with new sights, smells and sounds can be really hard for
children with autism, so we mentally prepare ourselves for a bad first couple
of night. We also find that taking any lights that help him child to settle (despite
the fact that the neighbours in the caravan next to us may think we’re raving
into the early hours with the flashing lights on the ceiling - if it helps him
to settle then we take it).
8.
A day in, followed by a day out can also work
quite well. We often find that if we have visited somewhere one day my son
needs a rest day to recover from the ‘social hangover’ that being social
creates. So chill around the cottage one day, take a book and read a few pages
with a coffee and a Hobnob…and let your child spend some time on their special
interest. Believe me I learnt the hard way that you don’t have to fill every
day full of activities. It’s ok to watch a DVD, sit in the garden or chill in
the room on the balcony sometimes.
9.
I suppose the biggie for me is this……don’t worry
too much about what other people are thinking. I know sometimes we can feel
eyes on us when our child is in meltdown mode or finding themselves in sensory
overload. But remember when your child is like this it’s often because they
have reached saturation point and need support and calm to get through it. So
let people stare, who cares! (It does
get easier I promise and eventually you will develop a thick skin to people’s
comments and stares in time).
10.
And finally have realistic expectations. No
family is perfect. No one ever has a stress free holiday despite the Facebook
pictures painting an idyllic picture of happiness. It’s simply not true. People
argue, get cranky and sometimes feel overwhelmed with it all. Families are not
used to being in each other pockets 24 hours a day. So take turns, have a
break, do a day in a day out, or whatever works for you and your family!
Holidays are not about what everyone else expects you to do. And generally we
find that if our son is happy… then everyone else is happy it’s that simple
really.
So be content to
holiday out of the box, do what works for you – ignore the stares and roll with
the chaos…(oh and maybe book yourself in for a relaxing back massage once the
kids are back at school as you will most definitely deserve a pamper session!)
Mrs M x
This blog was written for FAMILY FUND and the original post can be found here-https://www.familyfund.org.uk/blog/my-top-10-holiday-survival-tips
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