The Meltdown

The Meltdown

My boy

My beautiful boy

The days been hard

The world is too much sometimes

I can see the fog creeping over your body

Don’t let it take you

Stay here with me, let me make it better

But deep down I know this has to happen

It has to come out somehow

You're saturated

I’m your mum and I am here to help you through it

But my instincts are all wrong

Because every nerve in my body is telling me to scoop you up

My beautiful boy I need to make it better

I am helpless

My heart breaks to see you like this

I’m losing you to the fog, to the meltdown

It’s engulfing you, swallowing you like a predator

You’re gasping for air

Panic and rage soon follows

Breathe, remember to breathe my boy

I don’t know what to, what should I do?

I feel like I make things worse

My touch is painful to you, you pull away

What’s wrong, what can I do?

You can’t hear me

Heartbeats faster

I see my panic reflected in your eyes

My boy is so frightened

You lash out, I take the hit

Doors slam, chairs fly, I need to keep us safe until this passes

Seconds feel like hours

Slowly the fog subsides

and you become quiet

You rock slowly to calm yourself

Then slide down the wall in a heap

Your body unwinds and sighs

I hold my breath, and wait wrapping my arms around myself for comfort

Feelings of calm creep back in

My knees give way, I crawl towards you

Reaching out I gently touch your hand

You close your eyes

My love overflows

It’s OK my angel, you’re OK now

I love you
We're going to be OK

Mum xx